Just over 24 hours ago, my lovely bride and I completed a long day of air travel with our two beautiful daughters. Having had a career that has required a heavy travel schedule, both by car and by air, I can honestly say that I have never experienced anything like what I experienced yesterday. Traveling as a family with two small children is a UNIQUE experience and my hat’s off to the many families I’ve seen over the years, doing the same thing, and doing it with at least a small measure of calm, patience and a generally good attitude. I imagine that as we do travel together more and more, it’ll become easier and more routine. But yesterday, as the MAN of the family, my stress level was off the charts as I looked after my family’s safety and comfort. I think the closest I can equate it to is one Secret Service guy trying to protect three assets all by himself. And why do I feel that way? Well, therein lies the point for today….
Like I said, my bride and I have two daughters that are still very small – a four-and-half-year old (Little One) and a newborn that will be two months soon (Baby). Little One is not quite yet five, but has such an amazing little personality and brightness to her that it seems more like she’ll be fifteen soon (and from what I hear from other parents, if we blink, she just might be before we know it). Maybe because we’ve never spoken down to her or simplified our language with her, her vocabulary seems fairly advanced to me and there are times I honestly forget I’m debating a four-year old as I’m trying to explain my position on why the TV has to be turned off (for example). Unfortunately, more often than not, when I do remember her age, I just fall back on the old favorite, “Because I said so, that’s why!”
Baby, of course, is too young to talk back or do much more than eat, sleep, cry and fuss occasionally. It’s probably like living with a Hollywood actress with a combination eating and bipolar disorder. In any case, Baby hasn’t even been in this world for a full two months and is already completely running my life. Most of our days are centered completely and totally around her needs. And you know what? We wouldn’t change a thing for even a second. Baby is such an amazing blessing to our family and every time I look into her little face, I feel like I’m looking at an angel that decided to visit our world. The love that I feel for both our girls is something that I would never have truly understood without being blessed as a father. In the past, whenever I’d see a parent with their children (young or grown), I could appreciate the concept of parental love from a distance, but I didn’t really “get it”.
Call me crazy, but despite Baby being essentially a newborn, we can already see her little personality emerging. One of the first things we noticed was that when she wants something (wants to be fed, carried, or left alone and given the room to stretch), the little “crying” she does, isn’t really crying. She tends to rather “grunt” when she’s bothered. We noticed this during her first week of life and were even a little surprised to see that the little grunts were accompanied by her kicking her feet in rhythm with each grunt. All this led to Mommy commenting that Baby seemed to have Daddy’s temper. Ha ha, very funny, Mommy. But if it’s true, it won’t be so funny when she’s fifteen. We also noticed during Week One, that she was moving her head around A LOT. We have to be very careful to support her neck and head, because she seems to have her head on a swivel and wants to constantly look around at her surroundings. She was also turning her body in different directions very early. I think we’re really going to have our hands full if this little girl is as bright and headstrong as she already seems to be. I get the sense Baby isn’t going to be so much Little One’s “sidekick” as she’ll be a “partner-in-crime”. Please pray for their daddy.
I've also told my wife that my preference would be that the girls don't start dating until they're in their early 30s. Mommy just smiles her patient smile, probably thinking how cute it is that Daddy is so naive. Well, I'm thinking that when the boys do start coming around to pick up either of the girls, I'll be conveniently cleaning the 12-gauge, wearing a "wife-beater" undershirt with all the tattoos on full display and chomping on a cigar. I may not even have to say much, even the most thick-headed teenage boy will likely pick up on the subtleties of the message. Like a friend recently said, it seems like a reasonable approach to me.
As beautiful, intelligent and sweet I think our girls are, I know that if and when they grow up to be amazing women that are intelligent, strong, generous, kind and full of a faith in and love for God, a HUGE part of the credit for that will have to go to their mother. My bride is not only the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, she’s the BEST woman I’ve ever known. She is all the things that I mentioned above and hope for our daughters. And I know I’m a very blessed man to have married such a patient and loving bride. I try not to say this too often, but my bride is so patient and laid-back with me that when she does let me “have it” for something I said or did, it’s almost guaranteed that it was warranted. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I deserved it. In fact, here’s a quick example to explain who my wife is:
The other day we had a debate about something (I’m not going to really call it an argument, because we didn’t “argue” in what I consider a typical argument arising over nothing). There was a situation we didn’t agree on and I really felt I was right. Now, my philosophy over recent years has been that I’d rather be happy than right, so most things are not worth fighting over (debating, arguing, or spending any time holding on to). But on this day, I wasn’t quite there yet and as I was trying to make my point, I said to her, “Look, I didn’t do anything wrong here. Why do I feel like you’re making me out to be the bad guy?”
She said, “I’m not making you out to be the bad guy. You’re the good guy…which is why I EXPECT MORE FROM YOU.” Now, what do you say to that? As you can guess, the air was completely let out of my “argument”.
So, our girls are going to have an amazing mommy to teach them the many life lessons she seems to have learned so well herself and a daddy that’s going to love them unconditionally and do his best to protect them and keep them safe and happy and healthy.
So, why did I feel like a bodyguard on a serious detail yesterday? When it comes to my family and all three of my girls – my amazing bride and our two little angels, I can’t imagine anything I wouldn’t do to keep them from harm. On a long and stressful trip like yesterday’s adventure, there are so many little things that could happen to cause one of the girls to get hurt or sick or whatever. Now, don’t think me paranoid, because I’ve always been a great “take things as they come” kind of traveler when by myself. But, when you add my family to the equation, that’s a whole other story.
A few weeks ago, I was holding Baby in my arms and watching her sleep. The love I felt for her in those moments seemed too big for me to contain in my chest. I felt as if my heart would burst right out of my body. In that moment, it occurred to me that the Bible talks about how the love an earthly father has for his children pales in comparison to the love God has for His children in all of us. And it further occurred to me that just as I know I’d gladly give my life to save my children from harm, our Heavenly Father has already done that by coming to the Earth in human form and allowing Himself to be crucified to a cross outside Jerusalem nearly 2,000 years ago. In those moments, I felt so grateful and so undeserving of such an incredible sacrifice. But, because God did give Himself to save my life, while I’m here in this physical life, I will do my best to be the father my little girls deserve and the husband my bride will always be proud of. So that when I make it to the next life, I can be proud of who I was (for my girls) as I stand in front of my Heavenly Father.
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